Klára Wild Cats
http://www.sex.cz/810236
Ordering basically fine. I am met by Klára who is wearing the
least sexy,
least alluring,
least flattering clothes of any working girl I've ever seen. Nonetheless I think she's pretty, and she smiles at my icebreaking comments. I'll stay. We agree on an hour 1500 crowns and oral without for 500. No other services are offered.
After I shower she returns to the room and removes her ghastly polyester sweatshirt and sweatpants. And what do you know, there's an attractive girl underneath. She's slim, very petite, early 20s maybe. Of course not the advertised 19. On the other hand 150/45/1 I can believe. Klára's profile states that
"You will definitely be satisfied with my approach and body" and she has already fulfilled the second half of that promise. Will the approach satisfy as much as the body?
Well actually, no. Not really. Not at all, in fact. More like hugely dissatisfied.
Klára's approach was that of a girl who woke up one day and decided that she wanted to be a hooker ... but she didn't know
how to be a hooker. So she thought to herself "I know, I'll watch some porn and just copy what I see on the screen." Only the porn that she watched was some seedy, low-budget smut featuring bored actors with no enthusiasm for their work and filmed by a hack-fraud director with a habit of cutting between shots at the exact wrong moment.
Girl in porno movie gives handjob. Girl in privát grabs penis and furiously jerks it for about ten seconds, like she was wringing a chicken's neck.
CUT!
Girl in porno movie gives blowjob. Girl in privát sits on bed, opens her mouth and takes in the absolute minimum amount of dick she can get away with. She moves her head up and down. "Look at me," she thinks to herself, "I'm giving a real blowjob!" Yeah, not really.
CUT!
Girl in porno movie has sex. But in porn the actors don't wear condoms like we do in priváty. How does one
put on a condom? For that matter, how does one even take the condom
out of the packaging? Without a visual guide, our movie's protagonist is bewildered. She holds the condom in her hand and stares at it like it just fell out of a flying saucer. The male talent opens the packet, removes the rubber and hands it back to her. After a few seconds figuring out which way round it goes, she successfully manages to put it on.
CUT!
With the condom safely in place, she rides. For a while. Then she's tired and calls for the cut herself. Missionary then. For a while. Now it hurts. We need to wrap this scene up.
I've been there not probably not even half an hour, having paid for an hour, and I am back in the shower. There was absolutely
zero erotic atmosphere. A total absence of enthusiasm. Effectively I have paid Showpark money and received Showpark service, and I'm not even angry. Just relieved that I am leaving. Actually, forget Showpark, this was approaching Nana Garnet levels of bad.
Recommend?
No, of course not.
Repeat?
No, of course not.
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